Happiness

All our life, one common thread is the endeavor in pursuit of "Happiness". It's worthwhile to spend some time to understand what makes us happy.

Happiness is a mental state of well-being characterized by positive emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy. A variety of biological, psychological, religious, and philosophical approaches have striven to define happiness and identify its sources. 

--Wikipedia

Keeping away from the various theories and their complexities, here are some (rather materialistic) aspects of life which may lead to a state of happiness:

• pleasure when perceived by senses
• success when acknowledged by self and/or society
• positive interactions when experienced by mind
• freedom when experienced by the spirit
• health when perceived as strength
• knowledge when believed
• wealth when enjoyed
• power when exercised
  

Above list is by no means comprehensive, but covers a range of emotions that provide happiness in our day-to-day experiences.

There is at least two different aspects of these emotions that we may need to understand to be happy:

• Emotions (or combination of them) that make us happy
• Nature of the experience from these emotions that make us happy

As an e.g., we need to understand that "success" as an emotion alone may not bring happiness unless there is an "acknowledgement" by society.

Another key to happiness is to learn to enjoy the "process" of achieving a goal, and not so much worry about the "outcome". We have better control of the process than the outcome. Here are a couple of quotes that aptly summarize this:

• I've learned that everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.
  -- Andy Rooney
• The secret of life is to have a task, something you devote your entire life to, something you bring everything to, every minute of the day for the rest of your life. And the most important thing is, it must be something you cannot possibly do.
  -- Henry Moore

In the case of evoking happiness based on past events, it is also important to be able to distinguish between the experience (i.e, a factor of time), and the the corresponding memory (i.e., a factor of recall). As an e.g., a wonderful long drive ending in a flat-tire may not evoke great memories. For happy memories, good endings seem to have a significant impact.


And my endeavor to understand how to be happy continues...

Excellence

A perspective to Excellence...

The traditional phases of learning are:
Unconscious Incompetence => Conscious Incompetence => Conscious Competence => Unconscious Competence

The best way to understand the above is to think back of days learning to ride a bicycle.

1. When you saw people ride a bicycle, you always wondered how they balanced on two wheels & steered it successfully. This is "Unconscious Incompetence" - you do not know what skills you need.
2. As you start learning, you get an understanding of skills needed to ride a bike. This is "Conscious Incompetence" - you know the skills you need, however, you do have the skills yet and are learning them.
3. As your learn, you get the comfort of riding a bicycle without external help. This is "Conscious Competence" - you are aware that you have skills to ride a bicycle. You are still focused & pay attention to riding the bicycle.
4. With practice, riding a bicycle comes naturally to you. This is "Unconscious Competence" - you do not so much bother about how to ride the bicycle. On the contrary, you are focused on other aspects you want to achieve after the ride.

Beyond this, is "Transcendental Competence" - the highest level of excellence. 

The following dialogue from the movie "Enter The Dragon" aptly explains this concept:
Shaolin Master: I see your talents have gone beyond the mere physical level. Your skills are now at a point of spiritual insight. What is the highest technique you hope to achieve?
Bruce Lee: To have no technique.

It becomes just a flow; a rhythm; a happening. You become a witness unto yourself. The doer in you is suspended. You know its happening through you.

The processor merges into the process. Dance has filled the dancer; the music has possessed the musician; running has taken over the runner; the message and the messenger merge; the seeker becomes the sought.

[Some of the excerpts are from Frozen Thoughts magazine]

What is "Right"? What is "Wrong"?

What is "Right"? What is "Wrong"?

What and/or Who defines these attributes?

This is a "belief system" on which we base everything we do, say, or believe. As normal human beings, we have the tendency and urge to think and take what we tend to call as rational decisions. This “belief system” usually provides the logic we apply for the thought process.

It is system which is constantly learning from education (information), influences, and experiences. Although this system learns from all these three aspects, it is usually more susceptible to one of them depending on the stage of life.

When we are born, this system within us is initiated. Early in our life, this system is nurtured by education. As we become conscious of things, we are taught on dos & don'ts. And then there are stories, moral science, history, religion, and many other kinds of information inputs that strengthen this belief system. As a child, ever wondered the reason we are told fables which always ended with the good winning over the evil.

As we grow, this system is more prone to influences. We come out to the open world, and we start meeting people who influence this system. We tend to learn from family & friends. As a kid, ever wondered reason our parents/guardians were always worried about choice of school, our friends, our hobbies, etc.

As we become more mature, we tend to start believing in our own abilities & ourselves. We get the opportunities to experiment and to make choices. The system is constantly learning from these experiences. We are less likely to be influenced by others, and tend to more believe in experience rather than education (theory). As a grown-up, ever wonder the reason why we depend on experienced folks when we want guidance.

This “belief system” of the “Right” & “Wrong” was built over ages. It depends on some fundamental rules & assumptions. However, like any other system, this is also fallible. By changing the ingredients and/or the timelines, one can definitely alter this system within a person. We have many examples in today’s world where we experience these differences.

With time (more information, more influences, and more experiences), I hope to have a better appreciation of what is “Right” and what is “Wrong”…

[Originally from my Buzz post on 11-July-2011]